beach angel

Thursday, August 24, 2006

PINK LYRICS

"Who Knew"

You took my hand
You showed me how
You promised me you'd be around
Uh huh
That's right
I took your words
And I believed
In everything
You said to me
Yeah huh
That's right

If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong
I know better
Cause you said forever
And ever
Who knew

Remember when we were such fools
And so convinced and just too cool
Oh no
No no
I wish I could touch you again
I wish I could still call you friend
I'd give anything

When someone said count your blessings now
'fore they're long gone
I guess I just didn't know how
I was all wrong
They knew better
Still you said forever
And ever
Who knew

Yeah yeah
I'll keep you locked in my head
Until we meet again
Until we
Until we meet again
And I won't forget you my friend
What happened

If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong and
That last kiss
I'll cherish
Until we meet again
And time makes
It harder
I wish I could remember
But I keep
Your memory
You visit me in my sleep
My darling
Who knew
My darling
My darling
Who knew
My darling
I miss you
My darling
Who knew
Who knew

darkfossil high on VoDkA @ 8:47 AM

::::::

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Is it days?
Is it weeks?
Is it years,
when we first meet?

Is it winter when the first snow falls?
Is it autumn when the first leaf drops?
Is it sunshine when u first appear?
Is it the end when the day comes near?

Is it true love can never be?
Is it time surpasses everything?
Is it we can never change our fate?
Is it time for us to part this date?

Is it the last hour I can be with you?
Is it the last time I'll be a fool?
Is it the last chance I'm gonna have?
Is it the last day we have left?

Is it we can never be?
Is it I haven't given all there is?
Is it my heart has been broken once?
Is it time for me to have a chance?

Is it time for you to leave?
Is it all that I can give?
Is it time for me to say goodbye?
Because to my heart, I can't lie.

darkfossil high on VoDkA @ 9:05 PM

::::::

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Juz rem i promise tan tan this i will post:

Tan^2: You know who's Boon Han?
Lionel: Who? (puzzled)
Tan^2: Damn zai~~~
Lionel & XH: ?????????

Sometimes he juz make the stupidest comments in the world sia.. haha.. no wonder he's the retard among us.. =P

darkfossil high on VoDkA @ 11:01 AM

::::::

A poem i wrote:

With tears forming in my eyes,
And fears rushing through my veins.
I am motionless,
Speechless.

My mind's in a mess,
With thoughts swirling in my face.
Take this risk or should I not?
Say it now or should I stop?

Then a thought forms in my head,
A future without you leading me ahead.
Losing a chance which I should take,
A friend which I had make.

The thought is so painful,
None ever so hurtful.
My heart yearns for you,
my mind pines for you.

You're an angel,
My angel.
You pick me up when I am down,
U lay the ground when I fall down.

Sweet and innocent as you are,
I will be there wherever you are.
Be your shield whenever u need.
Your advice forever I'll heed.

Your true beauty sweeps me off my feet,
The day u walked into my life.
The way you blow my mind,
The way u heal my heart.

And a risk which I shall take,
With all that's to be said.
Be it all or nothing, I hope you'll know,
That there's a person with love, all ready to show.
How much you truly mean to him.
And I thank God for the day I finally find you.

darkfossil high on VoDkA @ 10:50 AM

::::::

ah.. so many ppl been asking me why i feel despondent.. haha.. seriously rite, i was reading a book and this word juz came to my mind.. then went to check out its meaning, not that i do nt know the meaning, but just wanna be sure of it.. haha.. it's sth like feeling hopeless, helpless la.. den somehow like quite related to how i was feeling at that time, den i juz put it in my nick...

yup, lately been feeling quite helpless.. esp after my injury, sorta realised so many things aren't within our ctrl, dat everything in life is so unpredictable.. dat's exactly why we're still living rite? for its unpredictabilty, for its ever-changing surprises.. be it good or bad, wadeva happen sometimes never seem to keep me and my attitude in check.. everything that happens always serve as a notice to me, dat i'm nt really in total ctrl of my life, that there are so many factors abound for every choice u make, and those factors are nt necessary something u can anticipate..

yes i admit, im a coward.. im forever a coward, be it taking wadeva risks.. if i'm nt a coward, i wouldn't have taken 2 yrs to make my decision, i wouldnt have nt the courage to do wadeva i wanted to do, i would have already planned my future ahead, wad i wanan do and where my interest lies.. im a coward, for i do nt wanna take a path only to regret it later.. im a coward cos im afraid my future is gonna be a mess, by choosing sth i do nt have interest in.. im a coward bcos im scared to lose, and i do not wan to lose.. im a coward cos alot of times i do nt dare to face up to reality, dat many things need me to stand upright and face the music.. yes, im indeed a coward..

i am helpless.. but i know i can make things work in my favour.. i am still myself, albeit more matured and more grown up.. this i know.. its time for u to too.. life is nt abt other ppl seriously.. when ppl say life is more than juz urself, dun listen to their shiet.. yesh, we shud nt be self-centred, but at times, wad for u look beyond urself when u urself is a mess?? it's time ppl like me sort out myself first, before u put other ppl as ur top priority! as they say, how can u expect ppl to love u, when u urself do nt love urself? hw to i ask U?? SIGH.. Lionel! do u even love urself?? 20 yrs already! is this all u've to show to urself? is this wad u wan? do u tink u r a hero jux cos u think for others more than u do to urself? no way! sort urself out! get a grip! farkin shit hell do nt always give excuses for urself to escape reality! sigh...

darkfossil high on VoDkA @ 9:16 AM

::::::

Thursday, August 03, 2006

sometimes in life, ppl always believe dat everything can be overcome, that there shud be no fear in ur heart so long as u believe in urself.. i was one of these few... i do nt fear, i only do nt believe... but today i realised things might nt be as simple as u sometimes think it is.. today is the day i look straight at fear, to put it in layman's term, my balls have nvr been any smaller...

the day started as per normal, me still trying to get desperate housewives, the entire second season, and replying to ur frenster msg... told u i got hit in the left eye yest and its still kinda swollen etc etc. Thereafter went for breakfast with my dad, in the end was slightly late in meeting up with warrant chan and all... but overall its still alrite... the morning juz went pass like this... today we met rsaf grp 2, our brother team! dunno whether its coincidence or conspiracy cos both airforce grps will always meet in the group matches... we will forever nt be in diff grps one... anyway as we were speaking, MAJ JV juz called to ask abt me.. he's such a nice person!!! even wanted to come down personally to see me, but he gt a meeting to attend and it juz ended... haha.. i'm so glad to be working for these ppl...

well anyway, back to the morning.. we reach the camp as usual and the day was juz normal... we manage to win the singles and the mixed doubles, but we lost on the veteran doubles.. it was really a very close fight and i cant believe that these ppl are their age, cos they seem to play better than some of the youngsters ard! haha.. anyway, it was an exciting match and it juz got my hyped up as well.. den i know my senior, tong dee, is gonna be playing men's doubles, so it's like, omg! finally i can play him! haha... juz wnted to do my best.. actually doubles was supposed to be the last game, cos still got one more singles, but den, cos our singles is the super zai chiu Paul, and its almost a god-given pt, they decide to play the doubles first, so u know, the score is 2-1 and it'll be more exciting ma... so we went down and play lor..

once i go down into the court, realised sth was very wrong la.. before that, tong dee keep teasing me that he's gonna hit my other eyes within the 42 pts he's gonna get.. 42 pts cos eah set is 21 pts, so if he gets 42, he wins the match la... so i told him its ridiculous, of cos it is! cos its nt possible that in two days, im gonna be hit in both eyes consecutively, and it's nt possible dat he'll win! haha... so i told him im only gg to let him get 21 pts for both sets in total.. so we juz go in with a have-fun mood and de game juz start la... anyway we won the first set... CPT Dino was absolutely fabulous, he's like a 'shen' with his drops and all la.. hahaa.... somemore he's super long, so almost every shot he can reach sia.. ridiculous.. he almost towers me over by a head la.. haha... anyway he's tis super nice guy also! super super nice! haha... oh back to the game, we won the first set i think 21-16 or sth like dat la.. but rite from the start i felt sth is amiss le, like sth wrong is gonna happen la... but i juz shrug it off as usual, thinking its juz the jitters u know.. so the second set commence and it was closer than expected... Tong Dee they all somehw got their acts together, so the score was very close... but then we slowly manage to pull away, 12-12, 13-12, 14-12, den it happened... i think Dino did a drop shot, cos i rem standing in front still, and the ball was pushed over me to the other side by Tong Dee, so i jumped and tried to intercept but it was out of my reach.. Den i did sth retarded, i turned back to look at the shuttle, even though its like out of reach already, and guess wad, next thing i saw was Dino and i felt a pain in my rite eye... yes, i was hit once again, dis time in the other eye... according to my Capt, Johin, he said i did nt panick, maybe cos i experienced the same thing juz yesterday when Roy that idiot tapped into my left eye.. haha.. but i juz lie down, and attempted to take off my contacts... anyway, wad happen was super scary, cos i couldnt see a thing with my rite eye!!! it was all cloudy and white, and even when i put my hand rite in front of it, i couldnt see anything but vauge shadow of my hand! i was so scared la!! dats when i really found and felt fear.. i thought i was gg blind... they were all consoling me saying its nth, juz a strain and all, but its really impossible for me to nt be scared.. imagine u gg blind all of a sudden! i juz couldnt picture it... i do nt wan it to happen.. sigh.. anyway, Dino, Paul and TD accompanied me to the medical centre, where it was located at the other camp (the place has three camps), and when we got in, the person asked me to register... i was quite angry, cos dun u thnik its an emergency!?? i really couldnt see a shit with my rite eye!!! and somemore they told me to take eye test... told them i couldnt see a shit they dun believe me, nd me go in front of the tester then say i cant see a shit then they realised, oh ya, its rite... wadeva la... den i was told to wait and before long, the MO sees me... i think he was quite freaked out also, cos i was freaked out, but anyway he checked out my eyes, and guess wad, he told me there was internal bleeding... internal bleeding + couldn't see a shit = Total FREAKED-OUT LIONEL!!!! i was so sad la.. i cant believe my luck.. wad have i done to deserve this? sigh... so i ask the MO hw severe it is, cos i wanna be mentally prepared, but he told me he couldnt determine, cos he does nt have the equipment to check the internal of my eyes, so he cant determine wad other injuries i might have.. so it was to the NUH that he recommends me to.. yup.. so i was to be driven there in the military ambulance la.. i think.. guess wad!!! the vehicle has a bloody speed limit!!! and it was crawling away to the hospital when me at the back was like couldnt see anything with my rite eye la.. sigh.. even Paul was complaining, saying he cant believe its so slow... but as the minutes pass, i realised my rite eye is starting to be able to see slowly.. i do nt know why, but i know dat i prayed at the medical centre before dat.. i prayed that if my eyes recover, i will believe in you.. i prayed that there is nth wrong with my eyes.. i wonder if its You answering my prayers, but it really did get better after that.. somehow my vision starts clearing up and i slowly could see, albeit still abit blur... Is it really You being there for me??

Anyway we reach the hospital eventually and we nd to proceed to the walk-in counter.. thanks to the experience of Paul, i do nt have to wait very long to get myself registered.. and the nurse was super nice! ahaha.. nt to mention cute.. yup, even with one eye down i still can see dat.. anyway she super nice to me la.. ya, shes super nice.. haha.. dunno hw to put it la.. shes juz super nice la.. and she doesnt look that old either.. even Tong Dee says he thinks shes cute.. haha.. oh well, den i got myself registered and we went in to wait, cos she says the doc will call my name.. so we wait, wait, wait, and wait, and finally, "Leow Wen Bin Lionel" and there i go with this guy in his green dunno-wad-u-call-it robes... haha.. so we went into this rm, got the typical machine u see when u see opticians, and was told to wait.. haa.. talk cock abit with him, ask him is he my doc, and he say no.. so i like, disappointed la.. cos he super frenly also.. haa... Yup, NUH has frenly ppl... thanks!!! so i was left waiting alone in the rm, think the doc busy or sth, den finalyl the doc came.. she checked my eyes and everything, den i think nth much was wrong la, cos she also dint say anything much.. she was wearing mask thruout, but well, i think shes chio too.. maybe when u r in distress, u will see into the heart of whoever is there to help, and realised, hey, i nvr seen them that beautiful before.. well dats cos at that moment, u r lookin into their heart, which is full of compassion and care, and it over-rode any physical appearances.. dats why patients all think nurses are very chio.. haha.. and i finally got a taste of it today... well, nt saying they're nt chio, they really are! haha... oh, so she checked my eyes le, she put this stuff into my eye after dat, frickin pain la!!! got stinging sensation lor.. damn sianz.. den the machines all look super scary, cos the rm was dark, den got lights, den like aliens machine like dat... hahaa... den at the end of the initial inspection, she dropped sth in my eyes, den say sth abt dilating... dunno wad the heck la.. anyway when i come out, Paul and TD went to eat le, and Dino gotta go back to work, but there were Johin, Encik Gan, Encik Kong and Leslie there waiting.. haha.. so glad to see them... thanks alot for coming! u all are really great frens and teammates! hee... so we started joking abt la.. and Encik Gan told me later i wont be able to see a shit, cos dilated pupil means lots of light and even a bigger shuttle come flying towards me i also cant see.. apparently they all got their pupils dilated before.. like i the only one nvr had it happen to me before.. haha.. of cos i dun believe a thing la, he was practically stretching out his hand to indicate the size of the shuttle that i wont be able to see, so big, hw can dun see rite, and i was wrong.. really cant see a shit with my eye sia after that!!! everything became super bright lor, den have to keep it close most of the times... haaa.. guess the older the ginger, the more spicy it is.. haha.. direct translation lehz.. =P

anyway, she told me wait 30 min la, in the end dunno wait until hw long sia, den finally, "Leow Wen Bin Lionel" and there i go again into that rm... well, dis time it was a torture, cos my pupil was dilated and den, guess wad, she did wad i exactly was trying to nt do, she keeps shining bright lights in my eyes!!! super sianz la!!! den keep tearing, cos bright lights + dilated pupils = excruciating pain... nt those physical pain.. dunno hw to describe it also.. ur eyes juz cannot take it la, but have to keep forcing it open cos she checking ma.. den she keeps checking la.. and she asked me, do u have any laser before... freaked me out sia!!! i tot, omg, wad did she find out? is there sth wrong? why ask such questions? cannot help it la, if u were me u cant help feeling paranoid too... anyway, den keep shining lights in my eyes la, and finally, the torture is over... so i ask is there anything wrong, and she replied nth much, and i finally felt relieved.. well, but another torture is abt to begin, the punishment of waiting... sianz... wait damn long la, think got hour plus.. somemore plus i was feeling nausea sia, maybe cos i nver eat anything since 7 in the morning and seeing with one eye really will make the person go dizzy la.. somemore nt ur master eye lor, so thruout i was damn quiet, keeping feeling that i wanna puke.. anyway, the waiting game was finally over, and i got my everything very quickly.. thanks everyone for waiting so long.. haha.. u all juz using me as excuse to not go work or go work later rite? i know one lor... haha.. kidding... =P really very grateful to u all for peiing me all the way la.. oh.. and when i approach the triage, where the first, very nice and chio nurse registered me, she had her mask off le! haha... quite chio lehx! serious! =) so i go talk to her abit also la.. think i muz look quite ugly, cos i realised after that my whole rite eye was blue-black, and is red and swollen.. so she still so nice to me, wa, really respect lor.. haha.. nvm, i actually very shuai one.. she got yan guang! =P so i got my stuff and den say goodbye to her... TD and Paul idiot la, keep teasing me abt her, say why nvr go say bye bye, when tho i did say bye bye, and cos she standing at counter ma, so they tease me say she waiting for me to go back and get her number or sth.. idiot... i here see doctor for my eye one lor, not to go get some girl's number and name la.. haha... u wan go get urself la! =P so Johin was very nice, he send me all the way back to my home lor, literally to my doorstep, cos the nearest u can go was to the carpark nearest to the lift, and he send me all the way in.. haha.. think he freaked out also, so many ppl freaking out today, Me, Dino, TD, Johin Etc....... ahahhaha.... Johin freaked out cos if u rem, i was feeling nausea, so thruout the car-ride i dun dare talk, cos got the vomitting feeling.. haha.. then OC and cant rem who called sia!! so no choice, gotta talk, and the feeling juz got even worse, like almost coming out le! haha.. luckily nvr come out.. so whole ride, he damn scared i puke in his car... haha.. dun worrie la, i wont do dat one.. at most on ur car only.. nt inside! cos im inside too! haha... anyway really hundreds and millions of thanks to you and everybody whos there when i needed the most~!! esp TD!!! giving me the encouragements and everything... Thanks lots! hahaa... i will help u try get sancia's number!!!! =P oops... i say out le hor.. haha...

Ya, so today is the day i totally freaked out and the day i know wad true fear is... i finally know dat sometimes life is juz so unpredictable, imagine playing badminton so many yrs without any major injury and in two days, both ur eyes were hit.. and always be grateful to have ur frens ard u, cos they'll be the one who will pull u thru the obstacles in life... so before i leave, as usual, heres a quote after my thanks..

A thousand Million thanks to u guys... LOVE U ALL!!!! I'll be back!!! and dis yr, we shall go to the finals!!! =P

Quote of the Day:
Cherish wad u have for today, cos u will nt know wad is left for u to cherish tmr...

darkfossil high on VoDkA @ 8:00 PM

::::::

"Ever The Same"

We were drawn from the weeds
We were brave like soldiers
Falling down under the pale moonlight
You were holding to me
Like a someone broken
And I couldn't tell you but I'm telling you now

Just let me hold you while you're falling apart
Just let me hold you and we'll both fall down

Fall on me
Tell me everything you want me to be
Forever with you forever in me
Ever the same

We would stand in the wind
We were free like water
Flowing down
Under the warmth of the sun
Now it's cold and we're scared
And we've both been shaken
Hey, look at us
Man, this doesn't need to be the end

Just let me hold you while you're falling apart
Just let me hold you and we'll both fall down

Fall on me tell me everything you want me to be
Forever with you
Forever in me
Ever the same
Call on me
I'll be there for you and you'll be there for me
Forever it's you
Forever in me
Ever the same

You may need me there
To carry all your weight
But you're no burden I assure
You tide me over
With a warmth I'll not forget
But I can only give you love

Fall on me tell me everything you want me to be
Forever with you
Forever in me
Ever the same
Call on me
I'll be there for you and you'll be there for me
Forever it's you
Forever in me
Ever the same

Forever with you
Forever in me
Ever the same(Ever the same)

darkfossil high on VoDkA @ 12:39 AM

::::::